We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
