How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
