It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
