help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize