when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
