all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
