there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
