oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
