ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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