so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
