I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The best revenge is premature balding
Slut skills are useful in every country.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
