3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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