you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
