im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
