I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
