How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
