Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
