there was a trapeze. enough said
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I need to calm my uterus...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
