what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
