He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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