i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
