I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
