One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
