What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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