the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
