you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
A+ Viking dick
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
