Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
