Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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