i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize