'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
