are you still at the devil's house?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
