I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
