well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
