All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
