tell your sister to shave her snatch
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
