mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
What a dumb baby whore.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
