there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
