That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
