The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
