Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
