so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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