butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
