This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How does it feel to date your dad?
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