So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
