My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
