you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
