I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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