Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
