even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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