I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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