How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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