So drunk its hurt
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
