We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
