I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
