I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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