I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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