He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
did i just pee glitter
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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