Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
