He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i love accidental penises.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
