Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
