Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
