I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
