dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
