Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
