I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize