i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
