She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
