I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Found the puke drawer
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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