i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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