i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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