Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize