I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
